


Iron Man 2 Meanderings

by Khanada



Series: Marvel Meanderings [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 09:02:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12295863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khanada/pseuds/Khanada
Summary: A long time ago (in a galaxy not so far away) I came across an internet site called the Fringedweller’s Guide, which sadly appears to have been swallowed up by a black hole. It offered an often very amusing running commentary on Stargate episodes (among other things) and appeared to be made up of the musings/thoughts triggered by events/dialogue in each episode.I thought I would offer something along those lines for the MCU. So, I give you… Marvel Meanderings.I suggest you watch the movie before reading this … and then while reading this.Iron Man 2AKA - the one with the annoying senator





	Iron Man 2 Meanderings

Rerun of press conference – just in case you didn’t watch the first film….  
(or aren’t watching them back to back)

“Oh Mickey you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind …” Or not (lol!)

Oh dear - Daddy’s died! What is it with super inventors and their fathers? Definitely a theme in this movie!

Building montage alert! (well hey – it’s the opening credits – may as well do something with them)

Surely there’s a better way to give a bird a drink than out of a really small glass??? Poor thing! What does happen to that bird in the end????

Ooooh more AC/DC – so again – what song could we think of instead???? Ummmmm

How is that suit not all creased from being inside the Iron Man suit?

“Never has a greater phoenix metaphor been personified in human history” ... than by Robert Downey Junior.

“It’s not about me” (Really??? Are you sure??? It’s your name in the title!!!)

And with the million words with one look thing again. If you hadn’t guessed something wasn’t right with that blood reading, that look would’ve told you.

Evil slime ball senator alert!!!

Evil slime ball scientist alert!!!

How can just using the word “Anthony” set your teeth on edge SO effectively???

Rhodey … NOOOOOO!!!!!!

Ha!!! You tell him Rhodey!!! You’re right!!! Words out of context DO NOT always represent their actual meaning…

“Your technology was moving a little slowly for me” (whoops wrong film – but that is basically what Stark’s saying)

Hee – surprised Justin Hammer doesn’t stop to look at himself on tv and swoon

“I’ve successfully privatised world peace” – sigh – pride before a fall sweetheart!

“You can count on me to pleasure myself!” That joke would’ve gone over children’s heads – who says these films don’t have stuff for adults!

Oooooh “The Clash” – that’s more like it!!!

“How refreshing it is to finally see you in a video with your clothing on sir”. Still getting snark from his creations I see!

Poor You – only trying to help – how many people have forgotten to put the lid on a blender!!!

And its (his?) “expression” on knocking the blender over – just screams dismay!!!! Actually makes you want to give it (him?) a hug!

He had that burnt husk in his chest???

Is this a joke? … Cosmic!

Dummy completely ignores him and goes back to what he was doing – hee:-)

Warholian print of Iron Man – of course it’s going up. In fairness, I would probably replace that piece of art with that one too)

How has this woman not got herself fired yet by not listening to her boss? Maybe I should try talking over my boss at work – see if it gets me a promotion to CEO (or maybe not)

“Don’t think. Drink” Tony Stark’s philosophy for life right there!

Evil music playing for dreadlock Mickey – he must be evil

Yay – more Clash

And ... oh who’s that? Being played by a big name actress so must be more important than just “Legal”.

Love that she just gets in the ring.

Hee – poor Happy!!!

Stark is SUCH a child “I want one”

9.30 dinner – I’ll be there at 11 – Timekeeping with Tony Stark!

Yuck – slime ball scientist alert!!!

Quite a spread – “And she wrote a story as well” – lol!!!

And again with the million words with one look … before he starts talking to himself (first sign of madness!)

Second sign of madness – deciding to drive your own race car… in the Monaco Grand Prix … 

Somehow, I just can’t find it in myself to feel sorry for Justin getting such a blatant brush off. He kind of deserves it.

Oooh fast cars going round in funny shaped circle at high speed …

Bad guy slo mo alert (just in case we HADN’T figured out he’s the bad guy by now)

Why, hello Whiplash

Such a waste of a good car!!! What did that driver ever do to him? And is the driver alive after that?

If the suit suitcase is padlocked to Happy, isn’t it possible that Happy could then be padlocked to Iron Man??? “Put me down!!! Stop flying!!! I’m scared of heights!!!”

Another 2 drivers that haven’t done anything

Well – okay – 10 out of 10 for bravery trying to fight without a suit – but minus 500 for stupidity yeah?

Yes. THAT’s going to help. Scream at Stark instead of GETTING IN THE CAR AND GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!!

If hitting someone with a car the first time doesn’t work – try again… And again… And again…

Okay. This suit is actually super cool!!! To quote Stark “I want one!”

Wouldn’t all that electricity be super charging the suit (like Thor’s lightning?)???

“You lose” – ‘yeah? I’m not the one going to prison, Bud!’

“We’re not even sure he speaks English”. Ummm, he was speaking English literally just moments ago!

Suit that burns all your clothes off and leaves you naked – very sensible

How to survive bad guys 101 – DON’T GIVE THEM ADVICE ON HOW TO MAKE THEIR WEAPONS MORE EFFECTIVE!!!

“Sharks in the water…” – nice working of the metaphor!

“I’ll send you a bar of soap” (another adult joke right there!)

Seriously – he’s comparing Whiplash’s suit to Iron Man’s – somehow I don’t think Whiplash can fly – would be a bit cold up there after all the clothes have burned off!

Tony cooks!!! Kind of! Actually, that’s a point – who does his cooking???? Dummy??? You???

Hee. Imagine if the note had dropped off the tray? Whiplash would’ve set off the detonator while chewing and … well … that potato would NOT have tasted good!!!

Switcheroo cliché

Slimeball scientist doesn’t know how to eat cleanly – needs a bib to eat pudding… like a 2-year-old! Why am I NOT surprised.

Ummmmm. Justin, that is basically what Whiplash was doing. Like he said, ‘if you can make God bleed…’

Now who doesn’t speak English – he’s quite clearly saying “my” bird – not “a” bird

Rhodey finally notices something’s wrong – it’s about damn time!!!

“Contrary to popular belief I know exactly what I’m doing”… Ummmmm really??? Are you sure????

Love that Whiplash breaks the password in like 5 seconds

“Software shit” – Hee! (Think that was pretty clear!)

Hee! Taking Justin’s suits to pieces

Classy man, using someone’s garden as a toilet! oh yeah, that’s right. Odious slimey piece of work!

‘Crossword puzzle on your neck’ … and chest … and it looks more like a computer circuit board to me. Is he turning into Tron? Maybe Flynn did more to him than we saw in the first Iron Man movie?

How many watches does one person need?

Did he REALLY not notice that BLATANT avoidance of the question – where are you from – Legal… I mean okay, he’s kind of distracted, what with the whole poisoning thing and all, but seriously?

Note to self! Do not hand a drunk an alcoholic drink and tell him it’s okay for him to do whatever he wants!!!

What is it with Pepper and ‘getting some air’ you could create a great drinking game out of that!

Who cheers/laughs at an adult wetting themselves??? Exploitation of someone with a clear problem???

“There’s the door”. Ummmm, that’s one way of putting it!

So sensible blowing up glass over people’s heads!!!

“Only going to say this once” …. ‘How about nunce?’ (whoops wrong film)

‘Oh hello Rhodey – I see you’ve changed your face – please do try a suit on for size … baby’

Remind me to make sure I have a DJ to play Queen every time I want to have an argument with a friend

How has Rhodey managed to master flying in a matter of seconds – surely he should’ve made the mistake of trying 10% thrust first and gone crashing into the wall???

Oh that’s where the name comes from – “You want to be a war machine take your shot”

Melancholic music while War Machine flies off into the night … everybody say ahhhhhhhhh

Followed by triumphant music for his landing – because hey, stealing from your best friend – that’s EXACTLY the kind of example all military personnel should follow.

I wonder if Stark succeeds at the doughnut challenge when eating in his suit – the sugar would probably taste a bit … metallic … if he licked his fingers. I call it cheating!

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to exit the doughnut” possibly my favourite line in the film!

Do you think he’s a bit hungover?

“I’m the realest person you’re ever going to meet” Is that Samuel Jackson or Fury speaking?

Oh look – there’s the nobody secretary… played by the big name… what a surprise

Hee – LOVE Black Widow’s style, just randomly injecting her former boss.

Dealing with pet owners 101 - Never try to tell them that another animal is their pet …They will know!!!!

“Try to put your head in there” – ‘No YOU try to put your head in there! See how you like being a lab rat … like that guy whose back you broke’

Hee – “Don’t get too attached to things. Try to let go” – lol!!!

“You’ve made your country proud”…. By stealing from your best friend!

AHHH – Daddy had faith in his son…

Oh God, really!? “Riddle of your heart”. Really????

Daddy issues!!!!

Here we go!!! Again – HOW did Stark not know about SHIELD when his Dad was a founder??

PHIIILLLLLLL!!!!!!!

“I will tase you and watch Supernanny while you drool into the carpet” Hee! Too cool!

Slimeball having orgasm at sight of competitor’s tech. Because he's not odious enough already!

“What did you do?” ‘Well I stole from my best friend’!!!

“What am I going to do for you?” Well, I’m going to completely screw you over with shit that doesn’t work … that’s on top of the crap I’m pulling working with the guy who’s not only “three fries short of a Happy Meal” but is also missing the rest of the fries, the burger, the toy, the drink and even the cardboard box … and who threw racing drivers around like ragdolls just because…

“I call it the ex-wife…” I call it horse manure!

Honey, if the ex-wife is the best you’ve got, you’re in the wrong business considering how ‘well’ it works!!! Quit now!!!!

Secret recording ‘message from the grave’ cliché alert

How sad is it that Daddy wasn’t able to tell his son to his face that he viewed him as his greatest creation?!! Sigh.

Those are big strawberries!!!

Wouldn’t it have been better to have a Newton’s cradle than that thing? Trust Pepper to have a REALLY ANNOYING executive toy!!! 

And seriously, how stupid is she to not realise that he’s REALLY trying to tell her something important!!! Maybe we should add “Pepper being annoying” to the “Pepper needing air” drinking game.

Did you bring me strawberries? Yes! Really BIG ones so just be grateful and polite, say thank you (and then chuck them as soon as he leaves because, seriously, strawberries should not be that plastic looking!!)

Ooooh Natalie, if looks could kill!

“Do you even speak Latin?” – ‘well yes’!!! 

“The key to the future is here” almost expected that plaque to move and for there to be a key underneath it!

“Just show me” – but does Jarvis include the Belgian waffle stands??? No wonder he’s snarky with his creator!

“What does that look like to you Jarvis? Not unlike an atom” Oh hello, I didn’t realise you were called Jarvis too!

Rediscovering a new element??? Surely it should just be rediscovering an element. I mean, if it’s already been discovered, then it’s not exactly “new”!

“Dead for almost 20 years. And still taking me to school” Can you imagine the conversations between those 2 during those drives to school?!!

Montage alert!!! Can you imagine what You and Dummy are thinking seeing their home being turned upside down? “No, no, no, how are we going to clean up this mess?? What are you doing??? That’s where the blender goes!! I can’t cope!!!”

PHIIILLLLLLL!!!! Of course he picks up the Cap shield prototype. Lovely bit of foreshadowing for him being a massive Cap fan in Avengers!!!

“I’m off to appear in the next film”!!!

More destruction. Poor You and Dummy!!!!

If it was that easy to create – sorry – rediscover (whoops – no, “create” – apparently) a ‘new’ element, we’d all be doing it!!!

Oh Whiplash you bad bad liar”! Presentation not demonstration. Nope, it’s definitely a demonstration!!!!

Birdman. Nope, that’s not Michael Keaton, that’s Mickey Rooney. I can see why you might get confused though, same first name and now Michael Keaton is playing “Vulture”!!!:-)

“I’m going to leave now” – ‘yes please do!!! And don’t stop the door hitting you on the way out!!!’

“I’m going to get laid”…. Ummmmm! In your dreams! Although, since you end up in prison maybe you do get laid. Though probably not in the way you wanted!

“Dummy, You, can we clean up this mess” They really should turn around and say – ‘No! You made it, you can damn well clean it!!!’

Pretty certain human experimentation is illegal … but at least he’s doing it on himself!!

Coconut and metal! It’s the new in thing!!! Maybe failing the doughnut challenge in the suit wouldn’t be so bad!

Oh Hammer! Trying to be Stark … but without the charisma!!! Is he auditioning for Footloose??? Anyone else think he should’ve come out to MC Hammer’s “U can’t touch this”? That’s exactly the kind of desperately-trying-to-be-cool-and-failing thing this character would do! And I can just see him striking a completely inappropriate pose at the “Now Stop! Hammer time!” bit!!

“They are about to run out of ink” writing about your colossal mistake honey!

“Hammerdrone” – sounds like a nasty STD really doesn’t it!?

That’s better than cheerleaders?? I wasn’t aware the cheerleaders were going off and fighting people. I must’ve missed that bit!

Oh Rhodey, Rhodey, Rhodey – what are you doing?

Hee – and all Iron Man has to do is just turn up and he gets a cheer!

See you outside. Sure, we’ll just take out the ceiling then we will be outside! And, oh look, you get to shower people with glass again (maybe that’s the new in thing? Showering with water is so last year!)

Go away! Shoo shoo. Yup, you DON’T say that to Black Widow!!!

How’s that ink problem looking to you now, Hammer??

No, no, no! Not a child (even if it is Spider-Man)!!! Seriously, does that ACTUALLY look like Iron Man??? He’s shrunk a bit!

Oh come on! Surely more drones would’ve flown into a wall in the car park????

“What are you wearing?” ‘A catsuit. What does it look like?!’

Macing someone without even looking – brilliant!

“I got him” I love how Happy takes out one guy. Widow takes out EVERYONE else, and he’s so happy with himself … until he sees what she’s done

“What’s your twenty?” Right behind you Bud!

Ha, remote controlled War Machine even has red eyes … cliché

“What do you mean you’re not dying?” Oh for God’s sake Pepper – seriously? NOW IS NOT THE TIME!!!

“Hammeroid attack” Hee! See? It’s not just me thinking they sound like an STD!!!

‘My gun’s bigger than yours’

“You are not ‘the big gun’” – your name’s not in the title! It’s not even Iron Man and the War Machine. It’s just Iron Man 2

“This is where you go to die”. Yup – it is where all the drones go to die … good point! Oh. Right. Timing cliché

“I think you should lead with that next time” so do I!

“Trying to pin this on me” … well yes – BECAUSE IT’S YOUR FAULT!!!!

Oooooooh look, Whiplash has solved the clothes burning issue!

Fttzzzzz “Hammertech?” “yeah” – hee!!!!!!

Seriously WHY IS THE ELECTRICITY NOT SUPER-CHARGING THEIR SUITS????!?!?! 

“You lose” – ummm no he doesn’t!!! He can fly!

“Two seals fighting over a grape” Lol!

“Get a roof”

Avengers initiative paperwork. Oh you tease!

In fairness, he was dying!!!

Thank you lieutenant colonel for such a distinguished bit of backstabbing thieving (well of course Senator Stern approves of that given what organisation he works for!!!)

“Funny how annoying a little prick can be isn’t it” – Funny??? No – just annoying!!!!

Ooooooh foreboding shot of a hammer in the desert!!! How did Hammertech get that far out of town??;-)


End file.
